“If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?” – Scott Adams

I have a deep personal problem with the term, “stupid question.” I have heard questions asked out of ignorance, but that is not quite the same thing as a “stupid question.” We have all asked questions out of ignorance, or a lack of knowledge. Personally, I think asking questions is still one of, if not the, best way to learn anything.

There are all types of questions, probing questions, affirming questions, leading questions, and many other types of questions. But stupid questions are something completely different. I still don’t understand why some people seem so anxious to preface their questions with the words, “stupid question.” Sometimes people almost seem to be bragging that they are asking a “stupid question.”

Tony Robbins talks about the power of questions. If you ever read any of his material, you will find that he has several lists of questions that he suggests you use to help solve problems and resolve issues with other people (or even yourself!). I tend to agree with Mr. Robbins that questions have power.

I like to ask questions. First of all, as I have already stated, I think that asking questions is still one of the best ways to learn about almost any topic. I have a few questions that are my favorites. They have become my favorites because they help me to learn a great deal.

For what its worth, here is a short list of some of my favorite questions:
Why?
How do you know?
What is the next step?
Why do you ask?
Why do you say that?

“Trust your hunches. They’re usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level.”
- Dr Joyce Brothers

For a very long time now, I have used what I call, “the belly test.” Its really quite simple. When faced with a decision where no one option stands out as being better than another you use “the belly test.” Essentially, you just ignore all the facts and focus on which option or alternative “feels” right.

I have made many decisions this way and have very seldom gone wrong. My success has nothing to do with luck, skill, knowledge, or intelligence. It has everything to do with trusting my hunches, my intuition, my instincts, or whatever term you want to use.

I use this on a regular basis and have become very comfortable with making decisions this way. I don’t intend to sound flippant, or that information and facts don’t matter. What I am trying to communicate is that in some instances the facts and information themselves don’t always present a clear choice. In those instances, I have become comfortable with trusting my hunches as opposed to flipping a coin. In those instances I trust those small, apparently insignificant facts that never made it to my conscious thought processes.

A while back I stumbled across something in my reading that, to me, validated the whole concept and use of my “belly test.” The author simply stated that when we talk to God its called ‘prayer’ and when God talks to us it is often called ‘intuition.’

Of course, the drawback of having accumulated this little piece of wisdom is that I find I don’t always trust people who don’t trust their own ‘intuition.’ I guess its because at times we all have to make a decision based on little more than faith – be it faith in your instincts, intuition, or God himself. Bottom line: I don’t trust people who don’t have faith!

Interestingly, one of the fastest growing “religions” (and I use that term loosely!) is that of Jedi – you know believing in ‘The Force’.

For what its worth, I find this interesting for two reasons. First, I find it interesting that people are willing to believe in something from a science fiction movie. Second, I find it interesting because maybe what we have is an entire movement of people who are simply trusting their intuition.

“Mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam, be it ever so humble, there’s no place like home.” – John Howard Payne

The holidays are fast approaching and they bring with them familiar tunes such as “There’s no place like home for the holidays.” The old adage reminds us that, “Home is where the heart is.” I believe that is a very true statement that most people will agree with. But all of this talk of ‘Home’ always makes me think of a lesser known jazz tune, “A house is not a home.”

If you really stop to think about it, the title of that song has a very sobering message. I have seen and visited some really nice houses, and some that were at best modest, and still others that were just a step away from being condemned. But not all of them were homes.

One of the six main definitions for the word home given by Webster’s Dictionary states:
- at home 1 : relaxed and comfortable : at ease at home on the stage> 2 : in harmony with the surroundings 3 : on familiar ground

There are too many houses that are not relaxed and comfortable. There are too many “residences” where you (or anyone for that matter) could ever feel at ease. I’ve been in houses where I can’t wait to leave. There is no sense of peace, or harmony, but there is plenty of stress. Perhaps you have visited places like this also.

If you are like me, you have probably been able to paint a fairly accurate portrait of the “homes” of people you know without ever visiting them. In looking at the information I have to “paint” that portrait I am certain that some are nothing more elaborate then the painting of a house, not a real home.

When you stop and differentiate between a “house” and a “home” it makes the term “homeless” take on a much broader meaning. It also makes the problem of “homeless” individuals more widespread than the convention references to large inner-city addicts. It means there are probably homeless people in your neighborhood. Put it in those terms and then stop and ask yourself how many children are “homeless.”

Many of us were very fortunate to have grown up in a real “home” and all that Mr. Webster’s Dictionary implies that it should mean. However, I know of many people right here in the heart of the most prosperous country in the world. Children who are afraid of one (or both) of their parents, or older siblings. Adults who struggle with abusive or addicted spouses. They are just as “homeless” as the image that you normally have in your mind of a “homeless” person.

My children aren’t teenagers so that, of course, makes me an expert on teenagers. But I can’t help wonder about teens who finally have a certain degree of freedom and the ability to use it. I wonder how many of them are runaways and how many have run away “from home.”

Open houses are a good way to market a house you are trying to sell. Perhaps you have heard that it often helps to bake cookies just before so the house is filled with a pleasant aroma. Although no one has really said as much, I think the idea is to give the impression that the house is actually a home.

But a home is much more than friendly and inviting smells. It’s a place that is filled with people who care about each other. Now I’ll grant you that having several people living together in close quarters doesn’t always foster harmony! However, it doesn’t mean that it always has to be filled with strife and stress.

For what its worth, remember the words of the late Leo Buscaglia, “Home should be a place where you feel loved, not just a place where they feel like they have to take you in!”

What do you think? Post a comment below!

“…Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the Earth.”
- Abraham Lincoln

Well election day has come and gone so please forgive me as I rant a little about politics in general.

Please understand that I don’t really care who you voted for (or against!) as long as you voted. I have made myself very unpopular with several people because I refer to people who don’t vote as “Communist Subversives.” Each person who does not vote, fails to understand the importance of being involved in a democracy. Each person who doesn’t vote is driving their own personal nail into the coffin of democracy. If you don’t vote you are part of the problem. I’m not sure when it became acceptable to not vote, but let me assure you abstinence is not a viable option in a democracy.

As far as I am concerned, people who do not vote do not have the right to condemn, criticize, complain, commend, or offer any type of commentary about any publicly elected official or their policies. Your silence automatically extends from the ballot box to any type of forum for discussion of politics.

Now, I have friends who are both sides of the political fence. I don’t always agree with them, their opinions of politics, and some of the major issues. However, we are still friends because we understand that there are some issues we view differently. Those differences make us individuals, not mortal enemies.

The great French writer, Voltaire said it best, “I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.” Unfortunately, that sentiment was often lost in the last election by people who are so adamant about their position/party/candidate that they will not listen a dissenting opinion. Too often I heard discussions and arguments that smacked of the sentiment, “if you’re not with us, you’re against us.”

So often I wanted to remind these people of the guaranteed right of free speech and clarify that freedom of speech does not guarantee freedom from being offended. In fact, I hope you get offended. I hope you get upset that I called you a ‘Communist Subversive’ because you didn’t vote.

For what its worth, I hope you get upset enough to actually do something about it – like maybe vote in the next election!