“Mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam, be it ever so humble, there’s no place like home.” – John Howard Payne

The holidays are fast approaching and they bring with them familiar tunes such as “There’s no place like home for the holidays.” The old adage reminds us that, “Home is where the heart is.” I believe that is a very true statement that most people will agree with. But all of this talk of ‘Home’ always makes me think of a lesser known jazz tune, “A house is not a home.”

If you really stop to think about it, the title of that song has a very sobering message. I have seen and visited some really nice houses, and some that were at best modest, and still others that were just a step away from being condemned. But not all of them were homes.

One of the six main definitions for the word home given by Webster’s Dictionary states:
- at home 1 : relaxed and comfortable : at ease at home on the stage> 2 : in harmony with the surroundings 3 : on familiar ground

There are too many houses that are not relaxed and comfortable. There are too many “residences” where you (or anyone for that matter) could ever feel at ease. I’ve been in houses where I can’t wait to leave. There is no sense of peace, or harmony, but there is plenty of stress. Perhaps you have visited places like this also.

If you are like me, you have probably been able to paint a fairly accurate portrait of the “homes” of people you know without ever visiting them. In looking at the information I have to “paint” that portrait I am certain that some are nothing more elaborate then the painting of a house, not a real home.

When you stop and differentiate between a “house” and a “home” it makes the term “homeless” take on a much broader meaning. It also makes the problem of “homeless” individuals more widespread than the convention references to large inner-city addicts. It means there are probably homeless people in your neighborhood. Put it in those terms and then stop and ask yourself how many children are “homeless.”

Many of us were very fortunate to have grown up in a real “home” and all that Mr. Webster’s Dictionary implies that it should mean. However, I know of many people right here in the heart of the most prosperous country in the world. Children who are afraid of one (or both) of their parents, or older siblings. Adults who struggle with abusive or addicted spouses. They are just as “homeless” as the image that you normally have in your mind of a “homeless” person.

My children aren’t teenagers so that, of course, makes me an expert on teenagers. But I can’t help wonder about teens who finally have a certain degree of freedom and the ability to use it. I wonder how many of them are runaways and how many have run away “from home.”

Open houses are a good way to market a house you are trying to sell. Perhaps you have heard that it often helps to bake cookies just before so the house is filled with a pleasant aroma. Although no one has really said as much, I think the idea is to give the impression that the house is actually a home.

But a home is much more than friendly and inviting smells. It’s a place that is filled with people who care about each other. Now I’ll grant you that having several people living together in close quarters doesn’t always foster harmony! However, it doesn’t mean that it always has to be filled with strife and stress.

For what its worth, remember the words of the late Leo Buscaglia, “Home should be a place where you feel loved, not just a place where they feel like they have to take you in!”

What do you think? Post a comment below!